3 Reasons Mom Asking for Everything She Wants on Mother’s Day Heals the World

There’s an epidemic among women.  

It’s the No Thank You, I Don’t Need Anything epidemic.

Mothers are leading the pack.

Years ago, when my kids were younger, before I learned the value of receiving, I felt a low grade irritation when I received flowers from my then-partner on Mother’s Day.  My thoughts ranged from, I’m not your mother to I’d rather have something else with the money you spent on those flowers.  

My response, although subtle and under-the-radar, was bitchy, ungrateful and it built walls between us.  And it gave me the opposite results I wanted in my relationship and in my life.

I didn’t realize it then, but I was blocking my own joy by avoiding receiving.  Even deeper, I was quietly cutting off his love and appreciation, the very thing I said I wanted.  That kind of thinking bled into every area of my life - in conversation, raising my kids, and sex.

This cycle was a self fulfilling prophecy that kept me spinning around in circles of resentment believing I had to do it all myself. I was not open to receive the amount of gratitude, gifts, and help offered to me and over time, that block of reception created a situation in which I felt like I had to do everything. And it was all my own doing - my lack of letting others help me was leading my life.

I was inadvertently sending the message:  I am not worth flowers or the time my partner took to set it up.  I was teaching him that pleasing me is a hit-or-miss challenge and it’s easier to not bother.  And from that spot, confusion, resentment and disconnection built.

Since then, I have learned to receive gracefully and this lesson has changed my life. Alongside my own life, it’s changed the way I receive and give love in the relationships of all kinds in my life. It brings us all closer together, and in part heals deep wounds and beliefs around how we value ourselves.

The love free-flowing is revolutionary.

This Mother’s Day, when our partners and children want to shower us with cards, jewelry, or sticky glue projects, it’s an opportunity to create a massive revolution and receive those gifts.  It creates the space for us enjoy the lives we say we want and raise the family we dream of.

Here’s 3 Reasons Why Moms Receiving Gifts Heals the World:

1. Moms Receiving Gifts Teaches Others to Give

Receiving is a beautifully feminine act.  And when we open and receive, it allows the people who love us to learn to give.  By stating our desires, our partners and children have a wonderful opportunity to learn to fulfill desire and give.  They get the joy and wonderment of bringing joy to their mama. It feels so gratifying to give and it’s a beautiful skill to allow others to practice.  Giving brings deep joy and allows the giver to pay attention to details, plan, be of service and have the swelling warmth in their heart upon giving a gift that is received with gratitude.  When women downplay their desire and block receiving, we deny those we love the gift of flexing their giving muscle.

Classic female conditioning has women hold back what they want and keep the focus on others.  Moms are especially skilled at deflecting attention and putting it on the children. This is a subtle way women block having what they want - attention, gifts, gratitude and love.  With awareness, we can change this pattern of keeping ourselves hidden. When a woman lets her desire and receiving out, her radiance shines and she lights up a room. This shine brightens the world, one smile at a time, and teaches us all generosity and attention.

2. Expanding Our Capacity to Receive Heals Generations

This epidemic of women diminishing their desires bleeds into the next generations.  When we cut ourselves off from our natural feminine states - receiving, pleasure, and joy, we show our mothers, our children, our partners that this is how women want to be treated.  That is not the message I want to put out into the world.

Our children are watching what we do, how we do it, and from our actions they learn how to relate with others in this world.  We teach them to dream big when they are young and then we unconsciously sabotage that message by not demonstrating it ourselves.  Any time we block receiving, deny our desire or deflect attention, we teach our children to do the same. That cycle has me seriously look at how I behave, knowing I have deep impact.  I want my kids and my partner to watch me share my desires and to see the glee on my face when I receive their gifts and love. I want them to see me ask for what I want and to be the bold woman I am,  I want them to see me be myself. I want them to have all they want in their lives, and that asks me to demonstrate the act of sharing and receiving my desires.

3.  Plain Simple Truth:  Moms Deserve it All

Let’s face it.  Moms rule the world.  They arrange everything, know everything and take care of everything.  They’re the CEO’s of their families. And it’s no joke, because Moms these days have full lives.  Whether they hold an executive job, their own business or homeschool their children, they are busy.  Mother’s Day is one day created Just. For. You.  

Soak it up, Mama.  Let it in. Ask for what you want and let the generosity permeate your being.  The next day will be Monday again and the kids will need to get to school, dinner will need to be made, and work will need to get done. For today, let your inner Queen out to play and enjoy the day that celebrates all that you are.


 

brenda fredericks